grip

I worry, you know. It makes me feel tight and twisted, seeing cares like leaves caught in the wind laying down a gold carpet on the shoulders of the road. I can't dance fast enough, searching for light wherever it lays, crystal fever fighting all the shadows. Don't ever want to let go. Prying fingers off, loosening the grip. Whatever it is that you can't give up is the thing you really need to.
Disengage.
Find the balance of caring. The carp in the pond outside the museum might care deeply about the thickly lacquered carvings, pottery with a bottomless finish wrapped up in minute silk stitches, but the carp can't stop the cocky teen who touches where it says, "Do Not". They know enough to let go. They swim, and they dream of their cousins caught in scratchy black ink climbing up the parchment, but it's all the same to them. It should be all the same to me. To love, to care, but not to grip. Sometimes my hands are so tight the white knuckle bones peel through the skin, tendons strung like the wires at the neck of an electric guitar. Loosen the hands. Show the caring by loosening the hands.

520 Bridge Song

Don't drive right up on my ass, please.
Where are you going to go?
We're on a two-lane bridge
and I'm driving as fast
as the cars around me.
There's nothing to do
but watch the moon,
(full cratered moon -
band of trees and houses
bank of smudgy clouds
giant pearl hanging over Bellevue
in a rusty rose sky)

and KING FM is playing piano
I think it's Bach.
Can't tell if I've heard this piece before
but the spaces in the melody
are whispering his name.

So breath, Mr.
We'll be across in a minute,
lanes will open up,
and you can go chase someone else.

garden shots - spring 09

The other morning I got out early with my camera. There was a light overcast, and I was hoping it would be bright enough to photograph well but not so bright as to make shadows. I don't think I have a very good camera, but I do like how the garden looks. Above is a photo of the front walkway. There's a rockrose in bloom, as well as the wild lilac.















This is another view of the front walkway. The strawberries are in bloom, although a bunch of volunteer _______ have come up in the the midst of them. You can see the rock birdbath, and to the right of it is a three-leaf sumac.














This is from our back porch. This shot would be prettier if I'd cleaned off the table first, but I like the mix of plants and pot colors.














Last weekend we moved the chicken coop to the other side of the yard, because the neighbors complained about the smell. Now it's under the kitchen window, so we can keep a closer eye on them, and it looks cool under the tree there.




















This is another back porch shot, showing my pretty Japanese maple with the yellow grass growing around it in the pot.



















Also from the back porch. I think this is the only rhododendron color I like. The buds start scarlet then turn yellow as they bloom, sorta like little sunsets. Very pretty.



















The enkianthus in bloom. This is the best year yet for this tree. Also, the blossoms show up more with the golden hops growing up behind it.














One of the two raised beds in the front yard. Mostly herbs in this one - sage, chives, oregano, lavender. Also planted garlic in it last fall, and they're looking good. Put some Walla Walla Sweet onions in this spring, and planted corn in the center. It's looking good so far, and that sage on the near end is going to look fabulous in a couple more days when it's all in bloom.














This is one of the three Pacific Coast iris that I have growing along the front walkway. I love the saturated purple color!














This is the other side of the rock birdbath, showing the sumac on the left and some monarda (?) Ruby (Something) in front of it.



















This view is looking across the front yard towards the front walkway. It's so peaceful in the front yard. The only thing I want to fix is that it needs a couple little chairs or a bench or something so you can sit and enjoy it. Of course there's always things to fix......all over......

school auction

So last Saturday was the school auction. Overall, it was a success, which was a good thing, because it was a whole ton of work. I was the contact person for catering. I also helped with supplying the bar and to a lesser extent helped with the Head Table. It was fun, but did I mention it was a whole lot of work? We raised about the same amount of money as last year, with the exception of the Fund An Enhancement portion, which did very well to the tune of $85k.
The energy there was really interesting. People had fun. In fact, they seemed determined to have fun. People partied. They were clearly committed to the cause, and they clearly wanted to raise money for the school, but, given the current economy, there was an undercurrent of anxiety about doing it. Not quite dancing on the deck of the Titanic, but heading in that direction. The thing is, though, they weren't desperate. Everyone wanted to get the job done, but it was cutting a little closer to the bone than it had in years' past. I hope that by next year things will have improved enough that we can relax a little as we drink too much and bid too much and eat (very decent) catered food.
In case you were curious, Our Lady of Fabio did go home w/ someone, don't know who, for somewhere in the $75 - $100 range. I hope they like her! And the photo above is of my Dear Son, taken by the father of one of his classmates, that was part of a book of pictures of all the 3rd graders. It was our one big-ticket auction purchase, and I think it'll make a nice memory book, since this is Dear Son's last year in that class.

waiting

So right now I'm waiting. I'm waiting for it to be after 9am so I can call the caterer (again!) and work out another of the endless details that this weekend's auction involves. I'm also waiting for the auction to be over! Can't describe how glad I will be to have it done with. I'm also waiting to pick up the 5th graders at the ferry this afternoon at 2pm. They've been at science camp since last Sunday, and it's the first time Dear Daughter has been away from home like this. I've missed her quite a bit, and will be glad to have her home. I'm also waiting till next Tues when the new Southern Vampire mystery, Dead and Gone is released. Really can't wait to get my hands on it, and neither can a few of my friends who are in line to borrow it when I'm done. Little do they know that I'm going to end up with two copies, to facillitate the borrowing and lending. And there are several books at the library that I'm waiting for. That's what prompted this train of thought this morning. I checked the library website to see if any had come in, and none are in yet, though 3 are in transit. Which made me think about all that I'm waiting for. I should say something clever about the meaning of anticipation in my life, but can't think of anything. Post-call brain, I guess. So I'm just going to sit here and wait, see if I can catch the caterer, get some sleep before picking the kids up, and wait some more.

{Oh, and for those who are interested, the top picture shows a bunch of species tulips growing up from underneath a variegated pieris - that never blooms - in front of our back porch. The bottom picture is the new bed we put in along the back of the house as part of our 'build a pathway and clean up the garbage can situation' project last year. These were the only bulbs I planted last fall, and they sure are pretty. You can kinda see the smoker and the shed that now covers the trashcans. Looks a whole lot better than it did.}

she's back....

Just picked up Our Lady of Fabio from the frame shop. They did the nicest job. She looks so pretty. I hope she brings in some $$ from the auction. Speaking of the auction, did I mention I'm the catering coordinator, and the event is less than 2 weeks away. Am starting to get a little bit twirly about it. And I'm sure there are a couple of other things going on. Both kids are on soccer teams and Oh, Yah, I haven't finished planning the music for the quarter that started April 1st. I think I have a start date for the UW, and we're refinancing both our home loan and the condo loan. Still need a tenant for the condo. Anyone want to rent a 1 bedroom in a great location?

good day sunshine

What a difference a couple days make. Wed April 1 we had snow, and today it was sunny and nearly 70 degrees. Even better, both kids had soccer games this afternoon so I got to sit outside and enjoy it. Yesterday I saw a headline on the PI website that said something like, Survey Finds People More Optimistic, and I thought, "well yah, it's way easier to be optimistic when it's sunny out".

And I do feel more optimistic than I have in a while. We got through our taxman visit without too much fuss. The IRS will actually end up owing us money for a change. We'll take it. And I got Dear Son registered for Lowell, the Public School accelerated program we wanted him in. He ended up qualifying for a couple of their programs, based on our appeal, but the APP was the only one with a guaranteed spot, so that's what we're going with. It's such a relief to have that done, and we're finding that the other St C's parents are surprisingly supportive. I've gotten several emails from people wishing Dear Son well, and people talked to us about it on the soccer field today. It's nice. I (SERIOUSLY) hope he likes it.

Holy Week started last night. I guess you could say we were the kick-off at the BSC Vigil service yesterday. The music was absolutely lovely, if I do say so myself. Sang with a couple other women, who besides having a fabulous blend cracked me up with their breastfeeding horror stories. You probably had to be there, but it was fun. And I've converted one (and possibly both) to the Southern Vampire mysteries. It's all about Sookie, you know. And at the end of Mass a young couple came us and asked us if we'd sing at their wedding in August. Yay, a gig!

So things are looking up. Still don't have the condo rented, and am not sure how I'm going to manufacture the money to get all the bills paid and whathaveyou in the short term, but it'll all work out in the end. I think that should go on my tombstone, "It'll all work out". Right next to, "but she tried hard".